The Evidence of your Practice | Part 4: A Discerning Self

This is Part 4 of a 5 part series on the evidence of your yoga practice.
If you haven't already, I encourage you to first read THIS, for the intention behind these reflections as well as the previous parts to build to the reflection below.

NOTE: To those following this exploration, apologies for the delay between Part 3 and 4! Our bushfire appeal took me into a rabbit hole of drawing, but it’s been an tremendous show of community spirit in gathering almost $3000 for our animal friends in need. Thanks for your patience, onwards!

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4. You develop a keener ability to discern truth. You can see more clearly what is and isn’t useful in revealing our innate nature, Ananda - a sense of Bliss, or quiet joy.

Discernment is judgement based on fact rather than narrative. It is the ability to identify with what is true, rather than what feels easy or safe.

This ability to question our own stories evolves our awareness from a world of black and white to one nuanced with more depth, more colours and textures. Ultimately, it creates more understanding within ourselves and with others.

There is, however, a big step between intellectual understanding and the energy that is needed to move this into action. We can know that craving and eating something sugary leads to only a temporary boost of energy before a jittery nervousness to follow, yet there might be day after day of craving and continuing this habit, unwilling to let go of a chain that keeps us 'safe' in familiar territory.

Why does this paralysing force hold us so persistently, even when a part of us is so ready to lean forward into change?

Shaan R Ali

It can be within a physical shape, in our breath or in our minds: when we practice coming back to the present moment, we also practice turning around to face parts of our being which we may find undesirable or challenging; the stories of identity.

A story consists of facts or truths, viewed through a coloured lens of personal and collective narrative. These tales often weave themselves around a sense of not being enough. Shame. Guilt. Blame. It is not easy to own up to some of them, even within our own minds. Some days, you might only peer through one eye for a glimpse at the shadowy parts, or even not at all.

But here is the power of aparigraha, of non-grasping in our sense of identity: we can realise these stories are malleable. That we are subject within, but also the creators of our own stories.

To reveal and unravel our stories is also to liberate ourselves from being stuck in the same grooves or patterning. Because with truth, comes more trust. And with trust of ourselves, the feeling of arriving home. We can shape the landscape of our awareness by discerning and choosing which narratives we choose to follow.

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REFLECTION + PRACTICE

1. Consider one habit you tend to deem 'bad'. It could be getting to bed really late, or eating too many deep fried snacks, being on your phone when talking to someone.

2. What is your internal response when this habitual action arises? Is it guilt? Or a sense of hiding? Frustration?

3. Instead of being swept up into any stories, is it possible to dig a little deeper:
   What is it I’m really wanting, by trying to accomplish this task or gain this thing? Is it more energy? A sense of freedom? Of being valued?
   It can also be useful to ask:
   What is it I’m trying to prove, and who am I trying to prove this to?

4. Notice any sense of resistance in your thoughts or literally in your body. Maybe it's a tightening in belly or chest; a deep urge to distract yourself, or perhaps a change in your breath.

5. Now ask: What if I am already ____ (insert desired state here)?
   What action or choice will I take, if I am already feeling _____, and enough, as I am?
   Observe how the perceived tension or unease in your body responds to these possibilities. Is there more space or lightness? This is a good sign of feeling inner alignment.

It is natural to want to make choices which move us away from pain and towards pleasure - however short lived. The practice of presence, and discernment within that presence, helps us to navigate the murkier grey water of uncertainty. We learn to move not necessarily towards what is easy - but what is true.

When we become more discerning, the way we cultivate a physical practice becomes more of a prayer and less of an accomplishment; the breath fills with more curiosity rather than tension; and our minds might just soften a little more around the harsher edges of our perceived limitations.

Whatever we pay attention to, will grow stronger. The more you choose truth, the more natural it will become to flow in alignment with your core values, regardless of how murky the circumstances might seem.

This exploration is itself a conversation, and our practices a constant evolving journey. Please feel free to comment with what strikes a chord with you, or send me a message. I'd love to hear about what you discover, and how we might better support and celebrate each other, in community.

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